If you’ve been around this whole mess long enough you know we love kicking up some dust. So that’s why we felt it was high time one of the elephants in this here circus gets called the fuck out. Clowns and jokers can take a hike for this next couple y’all; round these parts there’s no wishing our way out.
Here at Whoa!mance, we believe wet dreams are always better with a buddy. That’s why this week, Morgan and Isabeau took a trip to the 206 to hang out with bored pharmaceutical employees Vanessa and Altan, as they explored their sexual tension in a shared hallucinatory dreamspace. But what began as a flirtation spiraled into addiction for Vanessa as her drug induced sexcoma proved a too temping balm for the anxiety caused by her husband Pete and the aftershocks of her traumatic past. It’s a true mind fucking y’all.
Much like a long day, ICEWINE could only set in the west. This week, Morgan and Isabeau put the series out to pasture with Debbie Macomber’s 1993 novel Morning Comes Softly where Travis, a rugged non-millionaire chauvinist cowboy is seeking a wife to help maintain his shack and family in Montana; lo and behold, Mary, a shy librarian in Louisiana, responds to his personal ad and travels sight unseen to go a-courtin’. It’s a love story of proximity that will make you wish your drink was closer too. Don’t forget to recycle yr boxes, bags, and bottles y’all; ICEWINE out.
BRAINFREEZE — all this ICEWINE’s got to our heads y’all. This week, Morgan and Isabeau take a break from the box to rub shoulders with the courtesans in Jeannie Lin’s novel The Jade Temptress; and who better to show them around than Chicago’s very own scribe of passion Suleikha Snyder, who selected this title as a personal all-time-fav. It’s a triple shot of historical mystery romance sure to get your noggins humming, arm hairs perked, and erogenous zones titillated all to a satisfying denouement. But don’t forget to refill those ice trays now...
Before James Cameron tackled the greatest sinkable metal of the modern era, Danielle Steel did it first and regrettably, with more chastity. This week, Morgan and Isabeau board a transatlantic voyage on the Titanic for an historically accurate, fade-to-black romp through the worlds of newspapers, publishing, old Hollywood, and the constrictive gender roles of yesteryear. Women and children first this week y’all; we see your ICEWINE and raise you an ICEBERG.
Did you know yr average box wine fits FOUR bottles of that sweet sweet Dionysian nectar? I hope you didn’t go to hard out the gate cuz we back for ICEWINE ROUND 2. This week, Morgan and Isabeau unpack Indigo by Beverly Jenkins, a novel that doesn’t shy away from posing difficult questions while managing to stand up to the harsh light of our present moment. Who says you can’t take aim at slavery, white-male-capitalist-patriarchy, and coercive sexual relationships AND get a few rocks off while you’re at it? This week’s episode is dedicated to not letting notions of propriety ruin a good time.